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Navigating the Holidays Together

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, owner of Modern Wellness Counseling

Written by: Priscilla Rodriguez
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Navigating the Holidays Together

How to Navigate the Holidays with your Fiancé

The holidays can create a bustle for many couples. Planning around company holiday parties, visiting different parts of your families, attending friend holiday parties, and if you have kids, going to their school holiday functions. This can all lead to a very pact schedule.

Here are some topics to consider as you and your fiancé begin to plan how you will navigate the holidays together.

What do you look forward to around this time of year?

- Is it catching up with family? Is it the food? Is it the change of weather? As you think about these responses, be sure to share why this is something you look forward to.

What do you hope to avoid during this time of year?

- Is it packed malls? Is it the dread and worry of getting the perfect gift? Is it feeling nervous about having to spend time with certain family members? It’s important to remember that the holidays do not mean it is exciting and fun for everyone. It can be a sad time if you are thinking of people you miss or perhaps it’s facing a family member where you may not see eye to eye. Regardless of what it is, sharing this with your partner means you will not have to face this alone.

Where do you like to spend your time during the holidays?

- Do you prefer to stay in and watch holiday movies in your pajamas or do you try to attend every gathering you were invited to? Share with your fiancé how you would like to spend your time on holidays and family members that are important for you to see.

Alternate visiting families

- This can be helpful especially if your families live in different states and if travel is something you need to consider. It’s okay to take turns in visiting your family by alternating years or alternating holidays. For example, visiting your family for Thanksgiving and then your fiancés family for Christmas may be a good compromise. But of course, discuss this together!

You can’t please everyone

- If this is the first year you may be missing a family event, acknowledge how frustrating it is for you and your family. Don’t just ignore. Be sure that you and your fiancé are both on the same page about this and remember how you are focusing in on each other’s emotions.

Flexibility is key

- I know that setting up a schedule is ideal but be ready for that schedule to change. A relative may have traveled from a far place as a surprise or maybe you want to stay to be in the big family picture, but whatever it may be, being flexible will you get through the schedule change.

Don’t let the holidays be another stressor for you two this year or any other year. Remember that you are both on the same team and sharing about your expectations will help you both navigate this busy time.

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, Owner of Modern Wellness Counseling

 

 

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