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Sexual Expectations in Your Relationship

By Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, owner of Modern Wellness Counseling

Photography by: Nancy Rodriguez with JNR Photo and Video / Written by: Priscilla Rodriguez
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Sexual Expectations in Your Relationship

Have you and your partner had the sex talk yet? Hear me out–among couples, there can be different expectations of what sexual intimacy means. When you and your fiancé can communicate about your sexual intimacy expectations, it becomes easier to navigate potential barriers in the future. Which in turn, prevents the fear of having a “sexless marriage”.

Here are some questions to ask your fiancé as you are planning for your marriage:

  • When you think of sex, what does this mean for our relationship?
  • Are sex, passion and intimacy different for you? What are those differences?
  • When would you say that sex begins?
  • What turns you on?
  • If there was a problem or issue with our sex life, how would you like for me to bring it up to you?
  • How often do you plan to have sex?
  • What need does sex play for you?
  • What will we do to maintain intimacy in our relationship?

While answering these questions is just scratching the surface for having the sex talk with your fiancé, it’s a good place to start.

In your conversation with your fiancé, think of how the following changes may impact your sex life.

  • After marriage
  • After having a baby, experiencing a miscarriage, experiencing infertility
  • After buying a house
  • Moving in with your partner
  • Getting a new job
  • Moving to a new city
  • An injury
  • A medical diagnosis

These are common events or triggers that can cause many couples to experience a dip in their sexual frequency. These are often related to stressful events or a change in self-image, so making sure you have a healthy way of responding to these events, will help alleviate this possible dip.

If you would like to learn more on how to bullet proof your relationship and ensure you maintain sexual intimacy now and well into your marriage, then you can check out my online relationship class (which you can also save you money on your marriage license after completing the program). I also share different tips and ways to maintain intimacy in my upcoming couple's workshops and I recently released an online class that is solely focused on maintaining intimacy. In the online class, you will get many different resources and questions you and your fiancé can ask each other to develop your sexual expectations.

 

Priscilla Rodriguez, M.S., LMFT, owner of Modern Wellness Counseling. Priscilla specializes in working with engaged couples by helping them to develop a solid foundation for their marriage and discuss expectations.

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